I don’t anticipate all of you agreeing with all of the following observations, but I intend to put an end to the various debates I’ve had about any and everything in recent months. I’m knocking them down one at a time, so be patient, yours is coming up.
This is a certain departure from my normal posts, but a part of my supposed New Year’s resolution was to write more often and so this exercise is keeping me sharp and my author’s mind engaged. As always, thank you kind friend for reading, and if you disagree with any of the following statements, you are obviously wrong.
1)Scandal….ah, where to begin with this piece of fluff masquerading as entertainment and social commentary, and stealing all wives and girlfriends on Thursday evenings. Listen, I understand that she gets things done, and the intrigue is fascinating. But ultimately, this is a tale spun about a clever, well dressed jump off and her comrades with lives full of drama. I don’t need to watch it to know, that those fo you who do very conveniently forget to note that this strong, educated, talented, well-rounded sister is a JUMP-OFF!. I saw where a sister rationalized this being acceptable just the other day by comparing the relative harm this fact does to the main character by arguing that female soap opera characters get it much worse. That sealed this shows fate for me. Hell, they lost me at naming the damn thing Scandal.
2)Concerts. We have all been to them, and convinced ourselves that we absolutely needed to go. However, if we are being honest, I think we can all admit that live music almost never sounds as good as recorded media. Folks will say they go for the experience and the vibe and…it sounds hollow even writing it. After you have paid whatever exorbitant amount you shell out for a ticket, then pay for parking, then crowd into an arena, club, stadium…you get to collide into 20,000 screaming people. Congrats. All after you’ve gone to whatever lengths to be presentable for this affair. Man, next concert I go to i will be wearing a pair of Star Wars sleep pants, goggles and flip-flops, all that damn money i’m spending…wish they would tell me I can’t come in there…
3)Cupcakes. When the hell did all of these counter-culture pastry shops start popping up? Stores and shops dedicated to just cupcakes? When did cupcakes get top billing? Leave it up to a deluded first world country to come up with that business model
4)Reality Television. If I have to explain what is wrong with reality TV then you are obviously a cartoon character and I would kindly appreciate you removing e from your friendslist. Please and thank you.
5)Nas. I’m telling you, you would have thought that Nas album in 2012 was a classic. Life is Good is easy enough to listen to, but I have moved past giving Nas a pass for not sucking as much as rappers from Georgia and New Orleans. Dude really does remind me of cats right out of prison who read a few too many George Jackson books. Dude is literally still riding Illmatic good will at this point. Guess he is in the do no wrong category for some, and actually Ether was not that great. I’m just saying
6)Getting tattoos, clubbing, getting wasted. If you are in my age bracket, then it is well past time that you started trying to be a full functioning adult with all faculties intact. You have no business getting a tattoo that you will have to explain shortly to your rapidly developing children, and do you really want to look at yourself in the mirror after a night of binge drinking? The club? Man, invite your friends over, turn on some music and have at it. The club is still a meat market, and chances are you 1)are swallowing babies, so 2Chainz would call you basic and 2)You aren’t quite as unhinged as Juicy J, so you are hopefully learning when to say no to ratchet…Either way, time to move on…strip clubs, however, are acceptable fare. The naked female form is inspiring, joyous and a natural expression of all that is right and beautiful about humanity, I’m just saying.
7)Natural Hair. Listen, do whatever you want, but we don’t all have to co-sign. Some of yall just jumping out of bed throwing some water on your face, leaving the house and letting your hair do what it wants to do. It’s a lovely look on some, but some of yall look like you been on the run with the hounds on your tail…I’m just saying.
8)Best movie I’ve seen….
In the last several months I would have to go with Beasts of the Southern Wild. Batman would be a close second and Django Unchained was rather fun. The Hobbit should have been 2 hours shorter. Hunger Games was a pleasant surprise and Avengers was a good time. Nothing else mattered, in any way.
9)You should have listened to…
Something by Cal Tjader, Kendrick Lamar and some dubstep. I would throw in the “Birfday Song”, but some of you fail to see the genius of that opus.
Anything by Jim Butcher, Kurt Vonnegut, Aldous Huxley and of course Napoleon Wells and Christopher Emdin. I would throw in the Shades of Grey nonsense, but letting too many get their hands on those, and their minds wrapped around that fluff is just asking for trouble.
Best team in the NBA is Oklahoma City. Lebron James is officially the best player who has ever played the game, Hockey is fascist, so is Golf. Real (football) is the greatest sport on earth, and it’s best player is named Adrian Peterson. Give me the ravens by a field goal in the Superbowl
Part 2 next week, maybe. Good night all.